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How do I even describe what Alex is like? What kind of words can I use? Pretty? Funny? Sexy? ‘See for yourself,’ I tell them instead and I reach for my sketchbook. When they open it and turn to the most recent pages, both my friends gasp with wide eyes at my model. Kelsey bites her already chipped nails while Victoria plays with her soft blonde hair. ‘Holy shit,’ Kelsey pants. ‘He’s gorgeous!’ ‘He is quite delicious,’ says Victoria. ‘Awfully big too.’ I take an unusually large swig of my merlot in order to hide my cheeks, which are probably beet red by now. ‘Jokes aside, Helena,’ Victoria continues. ‘I think these are some of your best sketches yet.’ I nearly choke on my wine. A genuine compliment from Victoria? One that doesn’t come with a side of sarcasm or spite? This is new. ‘Really?’ I ask. ‘Of course!’ ‘She’s right, Helena,’ Kelsey nods. ‘I mean, you’ve always been good at this, but these…these are amazing!’ My friends hand my sketchbook back to me. Yesterday’s sketch of Alex. So what's it gonna be?"I watched the other man fucking my mother while Ice whispered in my ear. He was right. My mother wasn't going to stop him. The heroin was more important to her than me. And he was much bigger and stronger than me. He was going to have sex with me whether I wanted to or not. If I fought him, he'd hurt me. I had no doubt about that. And Mom wouldn't get the drug she needed. My body slumped and he released my arms which dropped listlessly to my sides."That's a good girl," he said still leaning next to my ear. "Now spread those skinny legs of yours."No matter how much my rational mind told me otherwise, I panicked and jumped off his lap and ran. I took two or three strides when I tripped, my hands breaking my fall. Ice was lying stretched out behind me clutching my ankle in his strong hand like a free safety making an open field shoestring tackle. I scampered to my knees, but a quick jerk left me flat on my stomach. He pulled me again and my fingernails dragged.
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